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The Black & White: Should You Kiss On The First Date?

Kissing On The First Date: Yay or Nay? 

I know you must be cleaning your glasses or blinking your eyes repeatedly thinking, they can't honestly be asking this question, or what are we going back in time to when people went steady and wore each other's pins? Well we are asking and you'll love how we go about answering! Happy Reading!

Ashley's Take From, Life Looks Better In Black Blog

Kissing on the first date ayy?! Being that I'm a person that does not have many boundaries -  it's definitely going to be about chemistry. Or if you're me, it's going to be about how many cocktails I've had and what kind of mood I'm in.

Some Tips for the Kissing Inclined: wear a neutral or light lip gloss on your first date - nothing too sticky and nothing too pigmented. First hand experiences tell me that guys do not like kissing with lipstick on, also can be intimidating (& messy). Keep a mint/gum on hand, just in case. Don't eat onions/garlic/any other aromatic food for dinner that night. Do perfume, but not overkill. Do not play with your animals RIGHT BEFORE THIS DATE. Allergies happen, so do sneezes & that's awkward.

This kiss decision is UP TO YOU completely. What's the harm? Being a person that also has exceptionally high standards, there are some red flags to watch out for.  I mean if he looks like he has an STD-ridden smile, don't kiss him. If he’s really a drag, quite awful looking and starts getting too comfortable too quick, you immediately excuse yourself. Tell him it was really nice to meet him, give him a kiss on the cheek and be out. It’s always best to accept a date with a backup plan for later. Immediately meet up with your friends to talk about your awk encounter. 
Otherwise, if the guy seems nice but you’re getting feelings that he’s the type that will definitely not text you immediately, then you must go for it. It's good form - this first date could turn into the man of your dreams who was playing a little hard to get. Or it could just be a really awkward first kiss and you realize you're never going to kiss this human being ever again. Because let’s be honest, your dog gives better kisses than him. Either way, you've embraced into a positive learning experience.

Having rules about life especially with regard to kissing is completely ridiculous. If the connection is there, if it's mutual, it's going to happen. Laws of attraction will always prevail. People reproduce for a reason. If it's fun, it's not harming anyone, and it's making me smile, I'm down.

Danielle's Take:

I was never one for following dating advice. I kind of made it up as I went, yet I seemed to navigate it's channels just fine. The secret to being an expert at the dating game? Listen to your instincts they're usually never wrong. 

I can see why some may say no to kissing on the first date. They may even give valid reasons like, "kissing on the first date signals you're too easy", or "wait until the third date to go in for the kiss to establish more of a connection" they may even say "kissing on the first date leaves nothing to the imagination". But I want to disagree. I don't think you can time a kiss. Whether or not the first date kiss happens at all is based on the date itself.

Clearly, if all of a sudden you realize wow I am suddenly very unattracted to this person because of x,y,z ...

this being x...
this being y...
this being z...
..then of course you're not going to be dtk (down to kiss) him/her on the first date, so there is no pressure. You don't have to. If it went badly move on to the next person with potential. Or, go on a second date to make sure he or she wasn't nervous. 

I know that I will never, have never, made the first move. (We can talk about my pride later) But that doesn't mean I'm not dtk. I like to think that if I am dating someone semi intelligent they'll pick up on my body language- it's not something I think about, but naturally happens. If I had a really great date we are probably smiling at each other, sitting closer to each other, holding hands, and making loads of eye contact. If a girl is not into you, then she is probably looking elsewhere while you're talking and her body is facing away. A Clear sign?  If you're in a restaurant and she is interested in you she will be leaning into the table fascinated with what you're discussing. If she is not interested she'll be lounging back in her chair, arms crossed and not impressed. Basically if any girl is into you she'll make it easier for you to kiss her, while if she's not into you you'll feel like there's no clear shot, and/or opportunity. 

If her face looks like this at any point during the date, our bet is you will not be able to kiss her on the first date...

My exit strategy for an awkward date? I have had many: 

1. A guy counted how many pieces of bread I ate from the bread basket 
2. A guy leaned over the table and pinched my cheeks saying how cute they were and that I reminded him of a little chipmunk 
3. One guy picked  me up wearing flip flops and Hollister play, why are you dressing so pretty? 
4. One guy told me I was a trade up from his last girlfriend. 
5. One guy tried to blindfold me...I don't really like surprises...

the list goes on. 

So clearly, I had to develop an exit strategy so the kiss wouldn't happen, while also saving their pride because I am not a man-hater. I developed the hand-on-the-door-handle-of-the-car, fiddle-in-my-purse-for-my-keys, say-goodnight-over-my-shoulder, then-continue-the-conversation-from-outside-your-car, plenty-of-feet-away-from-you-maneuver. It's much easier than it sounds...and efficient. 

Have a question you want us to tackle? E-mail us at to see your anonymous question answered next week. Want to add to the conversation? We welcome all respectful comments in the comment section below! Tweet or instagram us using the hashtag #theblackandwhite. 

Like always, stay lovely,


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